That’s my best friend!! Go best friend!!
Are you sure???
We been friends since pre- k and/or childhood.
So time and history makes you BFF’s??
Time, history, and longevity doesn’t qualify one as your best friend or real friend!
There’s a difference between a sister and friend.
When you have genuine love for people, peacemaker, and promote unity this is the hardest reality and truth to face.
Everyone is not your friend.
We are to love and be kind to ALL as sisters and brothers. Special people we call friends are few and far compared to sisters.
Unfortunately, no matter how hard you try you will not be friends with everyone. For whatever reason no matter how hard you try or how loving you are everyone will not like you. Some may pretend to like you due to the perks and benefits of being your friend such as credentials, accomplishments, and/or social status.
So… what’s a real friend vs. fake friend?
Let’s take a closer look…
Fake friends to the left to the left…
It’s easy to notice fake friends when you pay attention. The hardest part in the beginning is letting them go! Be brave enough to let go of fake friends! Allow God to make divine connections with real friends.
We go through seasons of fake friends so we can appreciate and cherish the real friends. Or maybe you’re a fake friend and need a reality check to become a real friend.
FAKE FRIENDS ARE JEALOUS:
They are jealous or want to be you. Everything you do they mimic or compete even when its not their calling! Stay in your lane sis! God has a divine plan for your life. Tap into God so he can show you your unique purpose!
Some can hide jealousy. Pay attention to what they say about you.
My wise Grandmother V aka best friend told me years ago “People who are jealous are dangerous”.
After years of my grandmother telling me “everyone is not your friend” finally accept this truth. No longer allow people in my personal space that are jealous or negative including family, “friends”, church members, Christians, believers, unbelievers, coworkers, you name it.
If you’re not careful you will unintentionally become jealous because we become like the people we spend the most time with. You have to publicly denounce that spirit off of you. Pray for those with a jealous spirit but keep them at a far distance.
“ Do not be misled: “ Bad company corrupts good character” – 1 Corinthians 15: 33 (NIV)
FAKE FRIENDS THROW YOUR PAST IN YOUR FACE:
If you can’t talk about faith and growing spiritually without being mocked, talked about negatively, or them bringing up your past that’s a fake friend. Real friends won’t laugh, mock, or call you a hypocrite when you make mistakes from the past or sin. Instead they will correct you with love, understanding, scripture, and prayer. Real friends understand transitioning is hard. You will make mistakes. They won’t embarrass you around others bringing up the past instead they will “ fix my crown without telling the world it’s crooked”.
Fake friends will try to expose who you use to be because sometimes they are intimidated by who you are becoming and/or they are the “same old them”.
Tell fake friends trying to condemn you about your past:
“That was the old me but you don’t know the new me because you are focused on the old me. Honestly, don’t know if I want you to know the new me if you throw the old me in my face. Please believe it’s a privilege to be in the presence of the new me”. (In your sassiest voice EVER with two finger snaps okurrrrr)
THEN ADJUST YOUR CROWN AND CARRY ON!
“The righteous choose their friends carefully, but the way of the wicked leads them astray” – Proverbs 12: 26 (NIV)
FAKE FRIENDS ARE NOT SUPPORTIVE:
When you don’t feel comfortable telling them your dreams and aspirations because they get quiet, change the subject, criticize, and/or tell you your dreams are too big or unrealistic.
They’re not happy when you accomplish your dreams. You know the fake congratulations and smile. The truth is written all over their face and tone of voice.
They don’t support your endeavors and events but you always support them.
“Beware of people in your circle but not in your corner”.
DNA TEST REVEALED YOUR A FAKE FRIEND IF:
- Constant drama, fighting, and petty arguments
- Back stabbing
- Negative Nancy
- Self -righteous
- Can’t be yourself or vulnerable
- One sided pertaining to counseling, supporting, and encouraging
- Can’t trust them around your man (cough cough)
Be picky with your circle! Personalities, words, and traits rub off. Before you know it you become the dysfunction.
Don’t call dysfunction friendship! That’s bad energy and negative vibes!
Detox fake friends to make room for real friends. It’s not that you’re better than anyone just intentional about genuine, equally yoked, and authentic friendships.
Don’t be bitter when you discover and accept reality that you have a fake friend. Stay kind but love from a distance! Pray for them to have a personal encounter with God, reveal fake friend mentality, and develop a personal relationship with him.
Wish them well and help them in times of need. Because God will continue to bless you. Sometimes fake friends can be the same people God uses to bless and elevate you! You have no time to be bitter, seek revenge, or retaliate!
“But I tell you love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you” – Matthew 5:44 (NIV)
Real friends til the wheels fall off…
TRAITS OF A REAL FRIEND:
- Love you the way God loves you! For your heart and who you are
- Trustworthy, loyal, and dependable
- Know your flaws, failures, and secrets but never condemn you
- Nurture, inspire, encourage, motivate, support, respect, and protect your anointing
- Joke, laugh, and enjoy each other’s company
- Reflection of you and the lifestyle you want
- Real friends post pretty pictures of both of you! Not pictures she looks good and you don’t. A real friend is your photographer hunni who captures all your good angles
“ As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another” – Proverbs 27:17 (NIV)
REAL FRIENDS ARE YOUR BIGGEST CHEERLEADERS:
Real friends clap for you and cheer you on. You never have to shrink or dim your light to make them feel comfortable around you. Your success is their success. They don’t compete with you! They support and collaborate!
REAL FRIENDS PRAY FOR YOU:
There is nothing like a friend who prays for you. Holds you accountable to live according to God’s word. I love godly friendships. The conversation is just different. Can share failures, weaknesses, fears, dreams, aspirations, grow spiritually, and deep conversations. No drama and gossip just edifying, correcting, convictions, and uplifting. They know how to pray on your behalf, speak life into you when things are rough, and stick closer when you need it the most.
When your real friend asks “ Is there anything you want me to pray for you about” instead of mocking and being negative about your struggles and pain.
That’s an amazing feeling!
“One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother”. – Proverbs 18: 24 (NIV)
REAL FRIENDS TELL THE TRUTH AND NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH:
Real friends are honest and courageous to confront you when you need to hear the truth especially when you’re wrong. They kindly remind you when going down the wrong path or about to make mistakes. They tell you when you’re not speaking, thinking, and living right. You know those friends who will say Patty “You shouldn’t say such and such that’s not kind” or “ Maybe you shouldn’t think like that the bible says such and such”.
They don’t let you go down wicked and dangerous paths such as stepping out of covenant with God perhaps living with a guy before marriage and/or having sex before marriage. They speak up when we don’t see the red flags and warning signs because blinded by infatuation, lust, and /or excitement.
Real friends will speak up even if we get mad at them. At the end of the day it’s all love. God will use your inner circle to speak to you when you’re not in tune with the Holy Spirit.
“A sweet friendship refreshes the soul”. – Proverbs 27: 9 (MSG)
Real friends are truly a gift we must cherish. May the church say Amen…
CAN I ENCOURAGE YOU?
Real friends are possible but you must be a good friend. Pray that God will bring you real friends.
In the meantime consider sisterhood groups such as Pinky Promise a worldwide organization for women who want to honor God with their life and body. To sign up at your local chapter visit pinkypromisemovement.com.
Don’t be consumed and desperate for real friends that you neglect your BFF JESUS. Spend time with God daily to develop a personal relationship. He will give you discernment with fake and real friends.
Protect your anointing! Understand you are only as good as the company you keep! Have the courage to walk away from fake friends. Strong women don’t rebuild toxic relationships. Cultivate friendships that inspire, motivate, and resemble your future not your past. “People who fit your destiny not your history”.
Real friendships are not forced. You don’t need a lot of friends you need quality over quantity.
Real friendships have disagreements. Forgive and apologize when you’re wrong.
“ There will always be a struggle between who you use to be and who you want to be. That’s why it’s essential to have friends who reflect who you want to be”. – Go Patty
HOPE YOU ARE ENCOURAGED!
Peace, Love, & Blessings!
XOXO Go Patty💋 😘
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Leya Ross says
Thanks Leya!!!! Much Love!!
It’s definitely scary sometimes to choose to let go of fake friends. There’s some comfort in having them there, and a lot of people struggle to let them go.
I can totally relate Taylor!! Letting go is scary but we deserve so much better!! Take comfort in God not people because he has better in store for you!! Much love!!Thanks for sharing your thoughts!!
Jess Pacheco says
Hi Patty – it’s taken me clear into my late twenties to see and understand that friendship is about quality not quantity. It’s never too late to learn and sometimes learning the hard way is the best way. ✌️ Jess || https://www.learningfromstrangers.com
Hi Jess! Likewise!! I agree wholeheartedly we learn from our mistakes and its never too late!! Much love!! Thanks for sharing your thoughts and website( will check it out)!!